:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize