Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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