Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
