how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
