so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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