i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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