Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
