so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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