Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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