Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
