How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
do herpes really smell.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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