I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
