We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
