Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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