Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize