found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
