piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
