Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
MIDGETS
????
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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