I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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