Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My sheets look like a crime scene.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
