oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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