My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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