I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
