Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
