That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
