Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
