Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
