I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
