You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
