Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
