Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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