dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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