I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she smelled like a LAN party
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize