Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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