Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
