I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
