her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
