evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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