just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
