Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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