i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
