i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
