his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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