and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
