I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
