Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize