I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
