My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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