you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
