you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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