If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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