you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
