Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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