I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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