Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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