its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That accounts for only three of the penises
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize