if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
