i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
