Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
