my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
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