I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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