Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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