Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
