Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
