butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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