Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
