well I can't set my house on fire every night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
